Please adopt me!
once protected the British Isles from alien invasion with a broom
handle, some cottage cheese and a ferret. He has a stiff upper lip, a
left udder tip and a squiffy upper tap, but, apart from that, he’s
fully operational. As a Scouser, Classy needs to be given a regular
dose of The Beatles and “You'll
never walk alone' or he becomes
depressed and will refuse to do his chores. Playing Dolly Parton and
Patsy Cline also helps avoid this.
Please feed him on Scouse, chips and Freckle crisp butties, all washed down with at least 6 glasses of Presecco. DO NOT feed him Diet Pepsi as it causes noxious gasses to be emitted from his trouser chimney..